Is there a way to get rid of
smells?
Smell is something that, ones
born, spreads by its own without requiring any human effort. The ways we can
control the spread of smell is blocking the path it spears, suppressing it with
some other odor or prevent the smell from being born from its source.
So what happens when we encounter a smelly
person in our day to day lives? We tend to follow the same three techniques:
Blocking, suppressing or preventing. Let’s look at step by step procedure to
follow under each of these two categories in order to handle the smelly
bellies.
Too Technical terms used:
Smellable radius: the
area around you where, if someone smelly stands, the smell reaches your
nostrils.
Smelly: A person who smells bad.
Smelly occasion: A condition where the smelly is inside the
smellable radius.
Blocking:
Technique 1:
Step 1: Learn swimming, singing or yoga which helps you practice
breath control.
Step 2: When someone smelly reaches your smellable radius, use the
practice of breath control you have done and stop inhaling for few seconds;
contain the corbon di oxide inside your lung.
Warning: You can breathe out as much as
you want but don’t breathe in.
Step 3: The moment the smelly person leaves the smellable radius,
breathe in as much as you want.
Caution: Use this technique
only if you are sure that the smelly will leave the radius in a few seconds.
Risks involved:
1. You
might lose your job if your boss calls you between step 2 and step 3. Because
you might not be able to speak during step 2.
2. You
might die if the smelly doesn’t leave the radius and you prolong step 2.
Technique 2:
Step 1: Buy the clips sold
in market used to dry clothes.
Warning: If the smelly is of some value
to you, say your girlfriend, buy fancy clips like in the photo. Else the nose
will be deformed forever. Be careful.
Step2: place the clip in an easy-to-pick location in a bag that you
carry.
Step3: The moment Smelly occasion occurs, pick the clip and put it
on your nose.
Caution: Use this technique
only if you are sure that the smelly will leave the radius in a few minutes.
Risks involved:
1. You
might die if the smelly doesn’t leave the radius and you prolong step 2.
2. You
might have a permanent dark mark on your nose, if the grip of the clip is too
tight.
Technique 3:
Step 1: Buy a small oxygen
cylinder with an oxygen mask.
Warning: Don’t place any fire producing
items like matchbox, lighter along.
Step2: Have it handy
Step3: When the smelly occasion occurs, pick the mask, place it
hard on your face and breath.
Caution: Please use your mask before
doing it for the person you are escorting.
Risks involved:
1.
You might not find these oxygen masks in normal
medical shops and have to steal it form hospitals. This might take you to jail.
In any case out of the smelly person’s odor.
2.
You might have to look for some other blog post
that tells you how to deal with a severe back ache as carrying the cylinder
might dislocate your shoulders forever.
Technique 4:
Step 1: store cold water,
lot of ice creams in fridge
Step2: Eat as many ice creams as possible the night before the
smelly occasion
Step3: get wet in rain or wash your hair and tie it tight for the
entire day. This must be done a day before the smelly occasion.
Caution: This might make you numb to good smells also. Sometimes even taste
Risks involved:
1. High
fever
2. Exhaustion
of sick leaves
3. In
severe cases, even death.
Confused, how?!
The above technique helps you catch cold. This
will, eventually, block your nose and make you unfit for smelling anything. So
you won’t be able to smell the smelly. Be happy.
If you are too immune and find it
difficult to catch cold, relax. We still have a technique in the suppression category
for this.
Suppression:
Technique 5:
Step 1: Disturb your nostril
with a piece of paper, made into a sharp tip.
Warning: Don’t replace paper with any
other material other than clothe.
Step2: Step 1 will make you Sneeze in front of the smelly a few
times.
Step3: Fake a few coughs in front of the smelly
Step 4: Take out your inhaler and inhale till the smelly occasion
vanishes.
Step 5: If step 4 doesn’t solve the problem, apply some vapour rub
on your nose so that the smell of it blocks any other smell from entering your
respiratory system.
Note: The first three steps are just to play safe.
Directly jumping to step 4 might hurt the feelings of the smelly.
Risks involved:
1.
You might have to take sick leave the next
day if the smelly is your boss.
2.
Inhaling the inhaler too much can make blood
flow through your nose.
You might get addicted to the vapour rub and
spend your entire salary buying cans of it.
Technique 6:
Step 1: Smell all the
shampoos in the supermarket and buy the one that smells more and smells the
best.
Warning: You might be thrown out of the
supermarket if you open ceiled shampoos and smell.
Step2: When the smelly occasion occurs, pull your hair from behind
and start smelling it till the smelly leaves the radius.
Note: This might not be
applicable for most males as they have short hair. But they could buy such
shampoos for their wives and girlfriends and always hang out only with them
beside.
Risks involved:
1. People
will brand you weird for smelling your hair now and then.
2. If
the pressure you apply to pull your hair to your nose is high you might lose
your hair very soon.
Technique 7:
Step 1: Buy kerchiefs and
get used to carrying one along with you.
Step2: Spray some perfume in the kerchief
Step3: When the smelly occasion occurs, place your kerchief on your
nose and smell it in a way it suppresses the foul smell of the smelly.
Risks involved:
1. Make
sure the kerchief is washed regularly. If not, it might lead to you fainting
the moment you smell it.
Technique 8:
Step 1: Carry some fruit or
food to eat.
Step2: When the smelly nears you, pick your lunch box or the fruit
and claim to be too hungry
Step3: smell the food and pretend like you are enjoying the smell
of the food
Caution: If the stench of the smelly is too much you might not want to eat,
discard the box and starve throughout.
Risks involved:
1.
If the smelly occasion occurs too many times
a day then there is a risk of gaining too much weight.
2.
Smelling the food too much when there is a
strong stench might make you hate food, eventually, making you think and weak.
Technique 9:
Step 1: Go Green.
Step2: Have some small
flowering plants in your desk.
Step3: When the smelly approaches, start admiring the flowers and
secretly smell the flower till the smelly leaves.
Note: This technique can become a portable one by wearing real
flowers as jewelry.
Risks involved:
Go Green techniques are usually
risk free.
Technique 10:
Step 1: Have scented candles reachable with lighter or matchbox
readily available.
Step2: When the smelly
occasion occurs, remove the fuse carrier of the building without anyone’s
knowledge.
Step3: Light the scented candles making it look like you had lit it
up for light and not to suppress the smelly’s smell.
Risks involved:
1.
Touching some electric wires or getting in
contact with electricity if you are not a pro in fuse removal.
2.
Getting hit while returning back after fuse
removal.
Technique 11:
Step 1: Have the pain relief
balms and gels handy.
Step2: When the smelly occasion occurs act like you have head ache
or join pain
Step3: pick up any of the types in the photo, smell it till the
smelly goes.
Risks involved:
Same as technique 5.
Technique 12:
Step 1: Wait till the smelly
enters the room to make sure the smelly smells bad today too.
Step2: If yes, take the room freshener and spray it all over the
room with your fingers on your nose if the person can be hurt. This might make
them leave the room if they realize they smell bad.
Risks involved:
1.
You might faint if you keep spraying the
room freshener
2.
You might want to leave the room yourself at
one point. So no point in doing this in excess, you leave along with the
smelly.
Technique 13:
Step 1: When the smelly
occasion occurs, tell the person you got to pray.
Warning: If it is untime, like late in
the night, you will have to support your action with valid reasons blaming your
astrologer.
Step2: light some incense all around the room.
Step3: It’s not a bad idea to pray God to make the smelly
understands how bad he/she smells.
Risks involved:
God will take care of the risks. When the technique involves
God, you can blindly follow it just like we follow most of the customs.
Prevention
Technique 14:
Step 1: Gift the person a
bathing set which is way too expensive. Their love for you or their value for
money might make them bath daily, at least, till the gift lasts.
Risks involved:
1. Some
people might have the costly stuffs safe without using it. (What’s the point in
saving a costly apple till it rots?) so
you might fail with this technique with those people and lose money unwantedly.
2. You
might have to regularly buy stuffs for the smelly to bath, all through your
life, spending all your salary.
Step 1: if the smelly stays
with you are if you have access to their bathroom, place some surprise gifts in
their bathroom.
Step 2: Decorate their bathroom in a way they like.
This might motivate them to visit
their bathrooms often and eventually, make them like the place. Finally, all
this leading to them bathing everyday.
Risks involved:
1. They
might get addicted to the bathroom and live the rest of their lives there.
2. The
smelly might just pick the gifts and forget about taking bath immersed in the
surprise.
Technique 16:
Only Step: Just tell her/him that he/she smells really bad and he/she needs to bath everyday.
Risk:
Nothing. Just go ahead, tell the smelly near you and see
what happens.
The picture below doesn’t have any connection to the risk of
this technique. Just go ahead.
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