3: Ashruth, the clown
Chapter 2 can be read here--> Chapter 2
3: Ashruth, the clown
Chapter 2 can be read
here--> Chapter 2
I wanted to go out of the room. I didn’t want to be jailed in there
forever. I walked to the door and turned the knob. The knob made a click. I got
scared that it would bring back Ashruth into the room, which was my entire
world right now. I somehow felt uncomfortable even thinking about initiating
any conversation with him again. I wanted to explore the house myself and try
if something reminded me of my past. I looked through the keyhole to ensure
that he wasn’t there. I could see a red telephone kept on a tea-poi and a
part of a green couch. I couldn’t see anything beyond that. I pressed my ears
tight on the door. I could listen to absolute silence. I slowly unlocked the
door and peeped out nervously. The door gave way to a huge hall which looked
very posh. It was better furnished than the room in which I had spent all my
(new) life in, till then. I saw another room a few steps away. The door was
kept slightly open. I tip–toed towards the room and peeped inside.
Ashruth was standing facing the wall opposite me. He had a towel around
his neck and wore a pair of blue shorts underneath. I was reluctant to look
into the room any further but was curious to know what he was doing. He opened
his wardrobe and pulled out 3 sets of suits; Green; Blue and Red. He placed the
suits one after the other over his chest, along with the hanger and looked into
the mirror. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, dissatisfied. He was so
plump that there was no distinctive gap between his chest and his belly. His
neck was nowhere to be seen! He gave the clothes a wry and disappointing
look as though they were the reason for an ugly mirror image.
He swung them back on his bed and moved back to the wardrobe. He emptied
the contents of the wardrobe on his bed but was still unhappy with anything
that he tried. . He shuffled and re-shuffled his ancient and ridiculous set of
clothes.
After a few minutes of digging the heap that lay before him, he smiled
at a shirt. He picked the shirt and held it over his chest. He looked down and
said “Perfect”, his face glowing as though someone had switched him on. It was
a shining, silky yellow shirt with silver buttons. The shirt had been
embroidered with pink flowers all over it, which would have been beautiful in a Rangoli than
a shirt. He also picked a pair of yellow pants that outshone the shirt. He put
the clothes back into the wardrobe which already puked of clothes, making it
difficult to latch. He somehow managed to compress the clothes and locked the
wardrobe. He smiled at the dress he had selected for the evening again and said
“Pakka” with a sigh of relief. He suddenly initiated a turn to my side.
I hid myself instantly. I went back to my room and shut it as slowly as
possible to avoid even the lowest decibel of noise it might make.
A few minutes passed. I again looked through the key hole and tip-toed to his
room. The door of the room was still slightly open and I let myself peep in
again. There was a waft of strong and nauseating perfume all over the air.
Suddenly, Ashruth came into the scope of my sight. He wore the yellow
pants out of which his hefty thighs bulged out. . The smile that widened, when
he spotted the shiny shirt, did not fade even a wee bit. He slid his hands into
the sleeves of the shirt. He locked the buttons at the edge of his sleeves and
latched the other buttons into their respective holes one by one.
‘One, two, three, four....four...four....ffffff....ffff’ he
tried to compress his tummy to lock the fourth button like he did with the
wardrobe. He tried his best to hold his breath, pulling his tummy as deep
inside as he could. He somehow managed to lock the fourth button but when he
released his belly out, the button flew across the room. I couldn’t control my
laughter. I swallowed the laughter and continued to enjoy the live comic strip.
He bent down to look for the derailed button. He looked under the bed, under
the dressing table and all over the floor. He tried to look for it under the
cupboard but couldn’t look beneath the cupboards as his over- grown tummy did
not let him bend further. He got up and frowned looking down at his belly and
breathed out hard as though he had just run a hundred meter race. He set his
tummy free to bulge as much as it could in mid-air. I couldn’t control my
laughter any further. I ran to my room and locked myself in. I laughed and
laughed till it hurt my stomach. ‘What a clown!’ I thought to
myself. Since he was dressing up so well (well, I was being sarcastic), had
dipped himself in perfume and smeared his face in fairness cream, I was pretty
sure that he was about to leave the house. I wanted to wait till he was out of
the house to explore it.
I sat sweating though the air conditioner was working fine. I was
expecting him to enter the room anytime to inform me that he was going out. I
glued my eyes to the door. Every second seemed to be longer than it actually
was . The door knob turned and the door cracked open. Ashruth glided through
the opening. He was wrapped in a red suit. I couldn’t control my laughter. I
smiled at him getting reminded of the cartoon he had made himself of, earlier.
‘I guess you
are very happy today.’ He said with a wide smile.
‘Yes.’ I
continued to laugh.
‘We are going
out today.’ He said.
‘Where?’ My
smile dissolved from my face.
‘We are going
out for lunch in a beautiful restaurant.’ He said blushing, trying to drill a
hole in the floor with his toes.
‘Was he trying
to dress up just to impress me?’ I thought to myself, I couldn’t laugh at the scene like I did a
few seconds back.
‘How do I look
Meera?’ he asked hoping that I would say ‘Very impressive.’
‘A clown.’ I
said to myself. ‘You look okay.’ I said not to invite more problems by
disappointing him.
‘I had picked
your favourite dress only but it was not washed so I had to wear this. I will
wear your favourite dress the next time we go out.’ He said as he adjusted his
coat.
‘That yellow
dress was my favourite?’ words slipped through my lips. I couldn’t digest my
own past anymore. It all felt like a story to me. I regretted for uttering it.
‘How did you
know that?’ he was shocked.
I couldn’t
justify. ‘Maybe I remember something from the past now.’ I tried to escape.
‘Did you sneak
out of this room?’ he asked.
‘How the hell
did he find it out?’ I couldn’t stop
cursing myself for talking about his ridiculous yellow shirt that took the
humour from my life at the moment.
He came close
to me and put his arms around . He walked me out of the room.
‘This is your house Meera. You can go anywhere you want INSIDE THE
HOUSE.’ He stressed upon the last few words.
‘Don’t think I’m restricting you. Till you get alright I don’t want you
to go alone and lose your way. Moreover you’ll imagine you have seen a few
places before and strain yourself. Sometime you might cook up stories and
assume that it’s your past life. So we need to be very careful till you gain
trust in my words and your mental state become stable.’
I did not know how to respond. Maybe, he was right about that. Maybe I
didn’t trust him because of my memory loss. Maybe I won’t trust anyone else too
. I thought I should trust him from then and it was risky to do something that
he doesn’t allow me to do. ‘Let me follow as he says. If the situation
is too undesirable I always have the trump card of running away, forgetting my
past forever.’ I convinced myself.
Before I could get out of the pool of thoughts, he was gone and the door
was shut. I couldn’t wait to look around the house. I went into his room and
looked around. Most of the items he owned weren’t bought but got as a
compliment; with the medicines’ names printed on them. ‘Was he such a miserly
person? Won’t he buy anything?’ I thought. I could just find more reasons to
hate him and not even one to like him even remotely. He had a picture hung on
his bedroom wall. It was him standing with the past me. I had looked prettier
before. I focused on his part of the photo. Huge, useless pumpkin head, he was.
I wanted to explore the house as much as I could before he came. I ran around.
I tried my best to think if I had seen any of those things in my past. I was
just left with the memory of ashes and fire all over my thoughts from my past.
The knob clicked and I melted through the doors into my room without leaving a
trace of me anywhere else. I was expecting him with some food; I was hungry. I
went out of the room with a ‘who-broke-into-the-house’ look.
‘It’s me Meera. Don’t worry. No one else will come here.’ He said as he
emptied the package he held on the dining table.
I settled in the dining table and was ready to eat. He served the food
and we had a quiet meal. At least for me it felt like it was a quiet meal as I
didn’t give a damn about anything he had told me. It was all about how I had
loved him and I somehow couldn’t relate myself to it. To disturb the silence,
his phone rang . He quickly washed his hands in the plate with half the food
left over and rushed to his room with his phone jingling away merrily. He had a
terrified look when he had seen who was calling. I couldn’t see the display of
the mobile. I was curious. He shut the door behind him the moment he had walked
inside the room. The ring continued till then.
‘Why did he want to talk in secrecy? Was it
something I shouldn’t know? I surely should know it if I’m not supposed to.’ My curiosity aroused, I tip toed to the room
and pressed my ears against the door. My hands were still unwashed. I could
hear a few phrases from his conversation.
‘..No uncle.
Give the phone to Santhosh…’ I heard this somewhere in between.
‘Was he talking
to my dad?’ I wondered.
‘Listen
carefully. She is fully not…..I will take care… Yes...Risky to do that but….’ I
heard the bits.
‘What was
risky?’ Every word cooked up stories within me.
‘Her mind is like a blank piece of paper. Whatever gets written first
gets imprinted forever. Even if a movie impresses her, she might assume herself
as a character in it. We should be extremely careful and watchful. So I will
first make her stable enough to listen to her own past. First of all, she needs
to believe that she is Meera. Give me a week’s time and I will bring her there
myself. Now if I bring her, just because uncle and aunt are asking, she might
strain herself. She will battle with her thoughts and try to find out if she
had seen anyone or anything before. This might take
go back to coma for ever.’ I had no idea why I heard that length of
conversation without any disturbance.
Later I realized that he had not closed the door and my thrust on it
with my ears had opened the door a little. I was scared to be caught
overhearing his conversation but my curiosity ate up my fear.
‘You guys shouldn’t come here too. I want to give her a few more
psychological treatments. Have you sent Clara?’ he asked.
‘Who is Clara? Sounds Christian! So she can’t be my relative. Is
Clara my best friend from the past? Whoever it is I am getting a new companion
other than this pumpkin-headed moron.’ I couldn’t resist my aversion
towards him.
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