Thursday, September 22, 2011

I walked in the pavement and everyone who passed by stood a second and looked at me. A man crossed me, stopped a few steps away from me and came back with a note that he picked from his pocket. Same thing happened some 4 years back in the same street.

That was when My debut movie “Shit! Impossible” got released. Suddenly I came under the lime light. People staring at me wherever I go did not bother me much. I got used to it by then. A man glared at me and walked a few steps ahead crossing me. Suddenly he turned back and came to me. He pulled out a note from his pocket and asked me for an autograph. I signed proudly for the first time, for a fan, “With luv, Kame”. I was named Kamala when I was born. But since it’s a trend I changed my name to Kame.

                Those were really good memories. Flash, I was back to today, reality. This man held a note not for signature but due to sympathy. It was a currency note. I looked down in pain and got the 10 Rupee note from him. How generous. It was so rare for someone to offer me something as big as a 10 Rupee. I said “Magarasana erikanum”. I had been begging for the past 1 year and by now I got used to the usual wishings I should do to a donar.

Photo: Shankar narayanan(

I ran to the hotel nearby and asked for 2 idlis. I hadn’t actually eaten anything other than the tap water for the past two days. I waited for the idli looking around the hotel’s infrastructure. It had 4 wheels, a wooden roof and a stove to cook, typical ‘Kai enthi bavan’. The man who cooked wore an old baniyan and was sweating like a pig. These were the kind of hotels I never dreampt of getting in. We used to shoot in remote locations. Directors and assistants will be ok with such hotels and theywill fill their stomach. But even if I have nothing else to eat I won’t agree eating there. They will have to arrange for a separate chef from a star hotel, in the middle of a desert where we shoot song sequences, just for me. I had also insisted on the chef wearing his uniform. Things have changed now.

I sat on the floor there with the packed idlis. I waded away the dog that came to share my food. The moment I opened, saw the idlis, I started smiling and pushing the food into my stomach directly. I completely forgot having an organ called the mouth.

                The 2 idlis were more than enough for me to survive the next two days, of course with water.I got used to this starving but there were days when I avoided eating though people offered me all the varieties one could possibly eat in a day. I called it DIETing and I ran behind size zero. Kareena was my inspiration and I wanted to be called south Indian kareena. I don’t want to reduce weight, have nothing at all to reduce but I am still on diet. What an irony.

A black car stopped in the signal and it had people coming from a nearby pub. It reminded me of my car and my pub days. I went to the pub as usual with my friends that day. I was one of the top stars and people offered whatever I wanted for free. They got the required publicity for their products in return. I was treated like a queen in any social gathering. I drank as much as possible. That day was the 100th day my movie hit the theatre screens. We danced like monkeys jumping from one partner to another. I had a shooting the next morning so I prefered to leave early. I bid good bye to my friends and rushed to my car. I usually avoid drivers when I go to pubs. I wanted to keep my drinking habits under the cover. I drove the car with my movie’s song played in the player. Suddenly I hit a lorry in the highway and I was thrown out of my car. That’s the last thing I remember from that day. It took me 5 days to come back to reality. I opened my eyes and saw my producer sitting with hands on his head. I was in a hospital. He cried to me and said that he would complete the last few scenes with a dup who looked just like me. I did not understand what he said until I looked into a mirror.

The glasses that broke had torn my face into pieces. I had my leg broken and my back bone fractured. By the time I got discharged from the hospital my so called husband (the current one, I kept changing) took over all my assets. I was huge as I did not follow any diet or visit a gym in days. No one offered me a shelter. The news channels crowded for a few days. I was able to see my picture everywhere I turned. Everyone made money with my pathetic condition. Few days passed and the news was gone. Few months passed and no one even recognized me. I started living a life on the streets.
-Kamala not KAME

This story is completely imaginary. Also I am not trying to say all the actresses drink and drive. I am not responsible for any problems or debates that arise: P also im not responsible if this resembles some actress’s life.

While reading if you had googled for Shit! Impossible” , “Kame” and “Kamala” all I can say is ROFL J

10 Scribbles:

  1. loved this blog..started followin it..since m running short of time now,will soon come back and read the whole thing..keep riting..

  2. @nikimenon-thanks a lot :) drop in whenever u find time :)

  3. Like your story...especially the twist..

  4. @rahul-thanks for reading and taking pains in commenting :)

  5. simple yet poignant..i wish you comment on my stories on it is not that i wanted to popularize my story but that i wanted really someone who has been in the written field to give me some comments and suggestions to them ...which i needed the now..

  6. @krishna- thanks :) I will surely check out the story though i am not in writing field :)

  7. Hey Ganga... your piece is exquisite and travels with me even when I have finished reading it. The life of extremity that the actress suffers here is really disturbing and quite the reality of many of the actresses. Women are nothing but puppets which can be discarded if they get old/ damaged.

    Very moving :)


  8. Everything is fleeting -- fame, money, lifestyle. Anything can happen any time. Nothing lasts forever.

    You painted a realistic picture of many a failed actress' life. Good visualisation.

    Joy always,


Thank You for taking pains, commenting :)


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