Monday, December 22, 2014

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  When I was in 5th standard, I had not prepared for a class test. It was a social science map test. I had also forgotten to bring a sheet of map. My social teacher was very strict and I was petrified. I prayed that the teacher shouldn't come to class that day. I even wished that the day be declared a sudden holiday due to some reason. I wanted a flood, an earthquake or wanted some politician to die just for the sake of escaping the stares of my social teacher, who always thought I was a bright and obedient student. None of my prayers had worked. The teacher came to the class. I so wished that something would make her forget the test. She had a sharp memory, she asked us all to pick out our map sheets. I was terrified. All I could ask for, then, was a lot of students not having the sheet. Getting caught as a group was less frightening than being a solitary weep-er. My bad, everyone else had a sheet of map; people were scared of our social teacher; I was scared too but I was lethargic and absent minded. I sat in my place and was about to break down in fear. It felt like the end of my life. I thought that the teacher would never consider me a good student ever after that. With all the fear brimming in, I stood up with tears welling my eyes. I felt like a big failure. I thought that I will never be able to lift up my head in the school. I shrunk with shame and was ready to melt down and get vapourized. Given a chance I would have jumped down from the fourth floor, where my class was. I was so tensed and it looked so important to me then. I told my teacher. She asked me to borrow a map sheet from someone and sit outside to attend the test. She scolded me as tears quitted my eyes and rolled down my cheek to my uniform.

            That night I wasn't able to sleep. I felt like a big failure. I wanted my life to end there. I never wanted to go to school ever again. I cried all night. I had no other thought distracting me. I felt humiliated to sit out for the first time. It was the first time that I was being scolded by a teacher. It all looked so important to me then. The next day dawned and I had to go on with the routine meant for me. I went to school. Two days passed and I never even remembered such a thing happened. Today I am an engineer and that day did not end my life nor did it make me a failure.

            We always do this don't we? We always try to generalize the negative thing that's happening to us. When something positive happen to us, have we ever thought that the happiness is going to stay forever? Have we ever assumed that promotions are going to fall in our way one after the other? Not always very rarely we do that.

            But when we fail, we always think that it is the end of our road. We keep crying into the night. We think as if we will never get another chance. We think as though we are going to die the next minute. We all know very well that this is not true. We know that no matter what we need to get back to our routines the next morning and life will become normal after two three days. We know for sure that this day will become least important to us as the days in the rest of our life progress. Still we weep considering it the end of it all. Why? Because we don't think practically. We give over importance to every single happening in our lives.
            That social test which I had failed did not matter anymore. People wouldn't ask me in my interviews about it. It will just be a story, a distant memory to share with my grandchildren someday when they learn maps.

            So let's not generalize failures. Let's not assume that the failure we meet now will stay with us forever and ruin the happiness other things are trying to give us. 

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