Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What's the purpose of life for a girl in India?
Let's be little filmy. This is a story of some Sheela in India.

                Darkness was sweeping the town when Ram reached the hospital. Ram kept walking up and down as his wife was inside to deliver his baby. Suddenly, a cry of a child reached his ears stopping him from a non-stop walk in the corridor. The cry also rose his parents from the chair they had stuck themselves to from the time their daughter-in-law was taken in for the delivery. They smiled wide at Ram and came running to the door of the operation theater. A nurse dressed in a white nurse gown came out carrying a baby, crying aloud. The baby was covered with a soft cloth. Ram's mother immediately removed the cloth to check the private part of the baby.
'Oh no! It's a girl.' she thought and frowned.

'You need to be more responsible. Start saving from now on.' said Ram's dad.

                'Now, all your property and savings will go to someone else. You need to spend so much for her wedding.' said Ram's mother still holding the frown on her face.

                'I am not worried about all that. I need to raise her up in such an unsafe place. If it was a boy I wouldn't need to be extra cautious in bring the kid up. But now I need to be very responsible till I get her married to someone.' Ram thought.

                'I should start buying gold from now on. My in-laws were satisfied with 50 so I am sure when my daughter grows up to the age of marriage people will demand more.' thought Ram's wife Sita when she heard it was a girl.

                The first thing that comes to people's mind when a girl is born is her marriage. Are we born to get married? Nothing else matters, right?

                They named the kid Sheela, as it was Ram's first crush's name. Sita can't name her son Mohan or sohan since she too had a crush. Even if she named the kid so, she can't tell it out that she had a crush as if it's a crime to have had one. Sita's goal of living was already accomplished, she was married. She couldn't ask for more rights, right?

                Sheela started going to school. She woke up late in the morning on holidays, late in the sense too late, in the afternoons. The only thing that struck her grandparents was that she can't sleep till it's this late because she is a girl. Once she is married her in laws won't tolerate this. Who are they to tolerate? Aren't every individual living for themselves and aren't they all equal? What gives in laws the right to question a girl just because they gave birth to her husband? That's all together a different topic to handle. So, yeah, Sheela can't wake up late when they are ten because it might become a practice that could irritate her in laws after her MARRIAGE. 

She is born just to get married and save that marriage for the rest of her life, right?

                Sheela took all of this and became a teenager. She did not like to cook. Girls don't have a choice when it comes to cooking; as if they have a choice with everything else but let's now focus on cooking. If you are born with something and without something to be called a girl you have to cook and master the art. No matter if you are a doctor, engineer or a collector, people will judge you if you say you don't like cooking unless you are a CM, an actress or a model; The exemption to these actress, models and politicians is only because people have enough other aspects to judge them with, so cooking becomes so tiny to be a reason to judge girls in these fields.

                Coming back to Sheela, she hated to cook or wash utensils or the households. Everyone including the maid in her house started to say that she should learn all these as these are the key skills for a married woman to live a life. How is a girl different from a guy these days? Both work. Both earn almost the same even if not you can't define what a person should do with the salary one earns. So why can't both share the work? They can but the society would want the girl to do it all no matter what. If Sheela gets married to a man as good as my husband she is saved else she will have to do it all no matter what.

                Sheela was a topper, university gold medalist in engineering. Sheela wanted to do PhD. But aunties around said she can't and shouldn't study so much as it would be difficult to find a match for her, who has a degree higher than hers. First of all, why should a guy be earning more than his wife and why should he hold a degree higher than her? A guy can't get married to a girl who earns more than him? Oh ya, he can't. They will say if he does then the girl won't be in his control and his family's control. Why should someone control her? Why should she be in  the grip of someone? No one knows.

                Sheela dropped the plan of doing higher studies listening to aunties and uncles just to get MARRIED to a good match. She can't fall in love. Guy are allowed to fall in love in most families but not the girls. My question to those families is that if their son is in love with a guy or a girl? When your son can fall in love with someone else's daughter why don't you give the same chance to someone else's son to fall in love with your daughter. So Sheela didn't want to express her love to a guy she thought was her soul mate. If she had expressed people will question her upbringing and she didn't want that.

                Sheela decided to take up the job, she had got, seriously. She wanted to be a star at work and take up her career seriously. People said she was aging and she had to get married else it would become difficult to find a match. She was aging, yeah. She was twenty three. All she asked was for two more years to concentrate in her job. No one gave her that time. Fine, I will get married and still become a star at work, she thought.

                Finally, after her parents vaporized their savings and gave her all the gold they had been saving till then, she was married. Two people get married and in most cases all the expense of the marriage has to be taken care of by the girl's family not because the guy's family is bad or something but because that's how we are all trained; that's what we call our tradition. They need to give away the girl with such earning potential and also take care of the expense of the wedding, on top of all this they need to give her gold, silver and what not. If this is the case the frown Ram and his parents had when Sheela was born is justified.

                Sheela, finally, got married. The goal of her life was accomplished. She thought she could rest her mind keeping it away from the race to reach marriage. But did the race she had to take part stop there? Not at all. People will say she is aging again and that she need to have a baby immediately. When the baby is a girl, again the race to get her married starts.
                When she gave birth to a child people wanted her to quit the job. Why can't a dad quit the job and take care of the kid. Why even that's on the head of a woman? All the hard work she had put in to get the gold medal, all the races she ran to shine was in vain. No matter if she was good at maths or English or science or politics, her only goal is to cook and take care of the children. If this is what you expect from a woman don't waste money on their education, don't give them hopes to dream big.

                Can't a girl take a deep breath in peace for a while? Why should she keep running the race the society points to, all her life? Even when she gets old she must pray that she dies first. Most girls do. Death is a natural thing that can happen to anyone, anytime. But if a girl's husband dies before her, she becomes less auspicious. Even the death of woman with husband and without husband is treated differently. Why so? When will this biased society stop treating woman like this; like shit? No one has an answer. The only way is for a girl to become a rebel, gain a bad name, let them judge and imagine the world outside her has ceased to exist.

                Why is a girl born? She is born to get married and save the marriage for the rest of her life. 

                Even for this post, I will be judged. People will question me why I wrote this. I really don't care because that's the only way a girl can have a little inner peace in a biased society.  

2 Scribbles:

  1. Well Written @GB - Its sad that women have been objectified to do certain duties.. the community has shaped their role in such a way....
    In a country where we rivers, goddess and mountains have such powerful female names that are highly respected, why not the women ??
    Its high time people change their views and give woman a respectable position in society, only then will our country develop...

  2. Well written piece of writing ! I have known many women esp.after marriage quitting their jobs and their dreams. I have seen some doing it gladly, some as a sacrifice and yet some without a choice. It is true that Men have more choices than what women do for achieving their goals/dreams.


Thank You for taking pains, commenting :)


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