With valentine's day around the corner, I am sure most of the singles are gearing up with their proposal plans. Good luck guys. This post is not for you, so kindly don't waste your time here instead use it for planning something special for your valentine. If you are already married and planning to leave the page as it's about valentine's day then please don't. This post is for you.
As far as I have heard this is what happens during the valentine month between married people. The husband worries how to match the expectation of his wife in making the day special and what reason to quote to take permission from work. Most times valentine's day fall on a weekday. They did not consider the pressure working men have when feb 14th falls on a weekday when they declared this day. They should have done something like the Sunday after 14th will be valentine's day.
The wives on the other hand compare themselves with the unmarried couples and the way they celebrate this day. They expect a diamond ring, a rose and a proposal even many years after their marriage. This is nothing wrong.
Life gets busier and busier day by day. We say we work to earn and earn to lead a happy life but do we really work to lead a happy life?
When we were in school our target would have been to score well, be the teacher's pet and to get an admission in a good college. When we were in college we would have had a dream job to join and in some cases a desire to find true love in college. Once we graduate from college, the ambitious or, in most cases, the rich ones join another college somewhere far from home to do their masters and the rest try to find a decent job. Till here we would have been motivated to study and pass with the hope of getting a good job and hence a better lifestyle. What happens after we start working? We studied and worked hard till this point to get a good job and the job is here. Now, what is the reason for us to work hard? Money, promotion and rarely, passion. Let's not talk about the handful who go behind their passion but focus on the rest, which is a majority. Why do we need money or promotion? To lead a happy life and when do we reach that happy state in life? No one tries to find out.
Some husbands say they work hard even on a special day just to keep the wife happy and to earn more thereby improving the lifestyle of the family. Some mothers say they need to work as they have no other go but to meet the financial needs of the family, for the sake of kids. All this is fine but forgetting the reason why we work is so wrong. We work to remain happy and make the family happy by all means.
On a valentine's day, a husband would say that he has an important meeting and he can't take leave. This is accepted but the few hours that you are at home, make it special for her. No matter what tension you have at work don't show it on her whenever possible instead discuss with her what happened at work. Work while you work and live while you live. If you are not enjoying the time you spend with family thinking about the pressures at work then what's the point in even earning? Don't you remember that you earn to remain happy and to keep them happy? Money can't directly buy happiness.
And what do the wives do? Most wives keep complaining that their husbands are so obsessed with office and office work. They compare the situation with a friend of theirs, whose husband is in a rare profession where he has to stay at home half the time. But what you won't know is the pressure that the other husband might have in balancing family and work. You won't know what happens behind those beautiful holiday photographs that your friend posts. Don't nag your husband for holidays quoting your friends life. Also try understanding the pressure the society has laid on him. You might argue saying that you work too and you are ambitious too. But tomorrow when the pressure becomes unmanageable you can quit without having to face judgemental conclusions but your husband doesn't have the liberty to do so. I am strongly against the society for treating guys and girls differently this way but all I can do is to hate it for this. Society can't change in a day; at least not in our lifetime. We can hope for a better situation for our granddaughters and a slow changing phase for our daughters and daughters in law.
When your husband has some trouble at work and shows that at home, try to understand his situation. If your husband is not earning as much as you expect to spend don't complain about it. Take equal responsibility with the home finance. Only then you will know why he has not gifted you a diamond necklace that a celebrity gifted to his wife. I am saying this because I have seen so many girls complaining that their husbands are not like Vijay Malaya or Tata family or rahul gandhi or name any celebrity or politician. They say when he gifts a private jet for his wife why can't my husband at least gift me a scooty pep. But please don't do that. Your husband is not getting you stuffs not because he doesn't want you to be happy, understand that.
Everyone has work pressure, everyone is in one or the other infinite race and everyone runs to reach a destination not known. Everyone fixes on something as a destination and when one reaches there one doesn't stop running but convert it into a milestone. So it's a never ending race until you are alive. It's up to you to make the journey memorable now and then. It's up to you to make days that you leave behind a memorable one. So, when one day you are stuck to a chair, recollecting more memories than the other old person becomes your race.
We have very less time left on earth and we don't even know how much. Why waste time in fighting with each other, arguing and ruining the day? Why show office pressure at home on wife? Why pressurize husband with high expectation?
Work while you work. Live while you live. Life is amazing as long as you spend the little time you have to create beautiful memories. Create them and have fun.
So what are you doing this valentine's day? Spending the time at home making each other smile with the small small things you can do for each other or spending the little time in hand after work in expecting and arguing?