I used to wait in the railway station. One might ask “Everyone waits in the railway station whats so special about that?” I used to wait, not for the train but for HIM. He was the most handsome guy known to me. 6 foot tall, fair complexioned, brown coloured hair and well built. I don’t know where a love story usually begins and I don’t know where mine begun too. But to start it somewhere let me start it with this.
That was a Monday morning, my first day to work. I was hurrying to the railway station as I was already late. Being late to ‘whatever’ had never bothered me before but this time it did as it was my first day to my new office. As soon as I reached the railway station platform I felt butterflies flying happily inside my tummy. I had never seen so many people all together in a single place before. Why talk about people, I had never seen an eight o clock-busy-city ever before. I did not know where to place my feet but finally managed to find a 2 foot space.
I glanced through the faces on the opposite platform to know if any of them were known to me. One, two three (from left to right) I started counting the faces. Eleven, eleven, eleven and I couldn’t count beyond. Two eyes sparkled and got glued to me. Wow! What a man he was! I wasn’t able to take my eyes off from him and he looked at me intensifying the turbulence created in me. I could feel all that I had read in the romantic novels and seen in movies. I felt as though I was stading in the spot light in an international award funtion receiving the award, angels flew around my head. Suddenly something flew across my vision, icould see nothing. I went blind for a second as he vanished from my sight. Before I could realize it was a train that fled across, he had left.
Days moved but not my love. It never diminished but only got intensified. I had been looking at him everyday the same way I did on the first day. Six months down the lane I was done with the PhD program in “LOVE AND HIM”. I used to admire the way he used his mobile. I still remember the ring tone of his mobile “We were both young when I first saw you…im standing there”. Taylor swift had written that song for my romance alone, I felt. As soon as the mobile rings, he would slide his hand into his pocket without even the slightest disturbance on his face and pick the phone. The best part is he would never move his eyeball from where it was while doing this. Maybe it doesn’t sound so cute to you but it seemed so cute to me ONCE, not anymore. I had never had the courage to stand before him and tell him about my love. He used to look at me sometimes but not the way I look at him everytime. After the first time our eyes met it had never met again. I was longing to be seen by him through his sparkling eyes.
After 6 months of just watching I summed up all my courage to say at least a “Hi” that day. I had done this so many times before but in my dreams. I was sure to go out ith him for a coffee that day. I rushed to the station and stood in my usual place. I waited for him and missed 4 trains but that was a usual number or maybe less than the usual. He came and stood just opposite to me, facing me. He looked deep into my eyes, the way I wanted him to look at me, the look I had longed for, so long. My heart stopped pumping blood. My brain repeated his name several times. Oops! I did not even know his name. But ya my brain repeated “his name” reminding me that I did not even know his name. He came close to me. He looked a little confused that day. He moved a few steps towards me and I heard the train horn. In less than a blink he fell into the track looking at me into my eyes. The train ran over him and he was no more. He was no more on earth but he still is in my heart, in every heart beat.
I was shattered and locked myself within me for the next few days. My eyes were closed each time I opened my eyelid.my brain died each minute I thought about his last look. My heart skipped a beat the first time we saw each other but my heart ,itself, slipped out the last time we saw each other. Suddenly something came to my mind. Everytime I met him he was accompanied by a not-so-smart guy. He was never seen as I was always busy watching THE HIM. But his face was faintly painted in my memory as he was HIS friend. The next day after a week full of dusk came the dawn. I at least wanted to know who he was, who my love was, what HIS name was. I wanted to know if he had loved me just like how I did, if my love had succeded or failed. That would be enough for the rest of my life, I thought. The next morning I rushed to the station and waited in his usual place. Everything around- the track the trains that passed the station, the vendors, the horn- everything reminded me of him. I could feel him satnding next to me in his usual place. I had the courage to walk to the other side of the station but he had walked a long way away from me, from the earth.
His friend came bringing some sunlight into my life. I led him to come along and tell me about his friend, my boyfriend. We went to a coffee shop near by where I had planned to go out with HIM. His friend was Rim but that did not bother me much. Let him be Rim, Tim or Dim but what is my HIM’s name. I told him my story; also I told him how I was mad about HIM. The HIM’s was called JOHN he said. Immediately I flicked through all my dreams and thoughts about him and altered HIM to JOHN.
Rim asked me” why are your eyes so puffy?”
I just wiped my tears and tried my best to plaster a smile on my face.
Rim asked me “you know nothing about him but still you were so madly in love with him?”
“I am still madly crazily in love. I consider him my soulmate. His memories will make my life and will remain the purpose of my living till my last breath. LOVE IS BLIND”
He said “ I do not know if love is blind as I have never felt it but I know something that was blind, it were JOHN’s eyes. JOHN WAS BLIND”
“What?” he was blind? I loved him so much. I loved his eyes. He looked into my eyes. He at times smiled when he looked my side. Did he do all that to the dark and not to me? That is why he never looked at his phone when he dialed or receiver any calls.
I was totally shattered. Even his death did not shake me so much. I wasn’t able to resist crying loud. I ran from there. I did not bother what the Rim/Kim would think about me leaving him abruptly there. What came to my mind was his last look. It was defenitely a one side love but it did not fail. It surely did not. I still love him and will love him forever. The last look, I can never forget.
THE BLIND END